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蛙​友​传​媒 Frog Friend Media presents Super Sampler​!​! 超​级​采​样​器​! !

by Turtle Pals Tapes

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about

So the other day I was at this flea market, right? Well I was looking for clothes to wear and maybe some old records I could use as frisbees or something. When I came along this, it was a compilation album of a bunch of music from MY label. Who has the audacity to do that, right? Well anyways, this guy, I think he was Armenian, that's what my friend said anyways. He said he got these for his kids since they love frogs and discs on a business trip to china. I ask him, "Why are you selling stuff here if you need to make business trips to china? Well, he said, "I bought way to many of these, I have like 500 of them sitting in crates behind me. "I pondered to myself, why did he buy so many, surely this man doesn't have 500 kids. I then thought, thats probably impossible. So I picked one up and sort of looked at it. I asked him how much. He said, "Fuck man, I don't know, two dollars?" and I thought, sure, why not. I bought one, and popped in the CD player to my car. It instantly fried my stereo. What the fuck dude, this isn't the first time either. Back in like 2015 I went to a car wash, and those mother fuckers pissed into my speakers, it was a whole ordeal, I sued them and everything, it was really nasty. God, I hate car washes. Oh yeah, the CD, I went back to the guy and asked him, what the fuck? He just shrugged and offered me a bunch of them to pay me back. So I opened the crates and counted, he had 627 of these pieces of shit. What the fuck. I took them, and loaded them in my car. I haven't had this much weight in my trunk since I committed an act of murder on February 17th 2004 behind a Denny's at 2642 Jamacha Road, El Cajon, CA 92019. I took these back to my house and finally got one to play, they fucked up the music so much, like how!? But the worst part? They fucking got a copy of a song from JellyFish!'s upcoming album, and it wasn't even fucked up. So I decided to just fucking toss these up on the shop and sell as many as I can in a day. I didn't spend anything on these, so I might as well make some money, right? I'm gonna fucking burn the rest of these after today. I'm gonna find the bastard in China who made these, and I am either gonna frame him for money laundering, or buy fucking "Frog Friend Media." That fucker who gave me these told me that Turtle Pals Tapes doesn't even make any sense, like bro, shut up. Anyways, I scanned the front and back and uploaded them.

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released June 4, 2022

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Turtle Pals Tapes Burlingame, California

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